Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Being thankful

I admit there are a lot of moments throughout my days when I just can't help but wonder why this horrible thing had to happen to my husband. I look at our wedding photo from almost 8 years ago and remember the only thing I was scared of happening to him on that day was him being deployed. Never saw this coming. I get furious. I get sad. I get bitter. I don't spend my entire day in self pity or dwelling on anger, but it's definitely there from time to time.

Yesterday as the events unfolded at the Navy Yard in Southeast, I was preparing to drive back to the hospital. I was extremely sad for the people who were going through it, and also scared I wouldn't be able to get back to the Major. Thankfully I was met with only heightened security, which made me feel safe, not annoyed. Although yesterday turned out to be a very bad day for the Major, he was unconscious most of the day and multiple tests had to be done to rule out specific things that could be fixed...I was thankful. Thankful that I get to sit with him, thankful that I get to give him sips of water or chips of ice...thankful for the amazing nurses and staff here. I was and am thankful for the family we have made here, for advances in medicine that have gotten us more time than was expected. I was thankful this morning to wake up to the Major being a little better after some antibiotics, thankful for a friend helping with the Tink and housework so I could stay here. Thankful every time the Major opened his eyes, thankful every time he was able to answer a question. I was extra thankful for the visitors we had today, military and civilian. I made sure to let people know how thankful I was for them. I sat in a chair today and focused on all I have to be thankful for. Instead of being negative and looking at how awful things are right now, I picked out the good things. 

People can be taken from us in an instant. Loved ones can go to work and never return. I am so sad for the families of the victims of the shooting yesterday. I am sad for the Navy Community. I am sad for our military community, as we are shaken...just as in the days after the Ft. Hood shooting, our bases are scrutinized, our gun laws are picked apart, and our sense of security is no longer what it was. 

Right here, right now, in this moment, I have the Major and Little Tink. Things aren't perfect, far from it, but they are here. One day things might change, but today I can be thankful. Today I can hug them. I can be thankful for time, for friends, for family, for medicine, for our military, and that no matter what, I get the chance to hold his hand. 

<3

2 comments:

  1. Continued thoughts and prayers for you guys.. amazing and strong.. your words even help me realize certain things.. Godspeed

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Cameron, I'm not sure how to email you...I've sent you a message on facebook and gchat. Aimee

    ReplyDelete