So I have been thinking about writing this year in review post. I honestly can't believe it's been a year. I think about all of the things I have accomplished and failed at. There is a whole list of both. In the grand scheme of things none of them really matter, not to anyone else any way. They're my triumphs and missteps, for me to learn from.
Sure I am proud that I was able to learn and grow and keep things running on my own while dealing with medical issues and a needy preschooler. There were days I was so ready to give up, but I just kept pushing on. One thing was constant, those bad days ended and I got to start over the next morning.
I saw this post yesterday about being a stay at home mom. I try not to let things bother me, especially people's opinions or observations because, well...they really don't matter to me. When I see someone talking about how easy it is to be a stay at home mom however...that makes me want to explode. I especially get angry when I see someone complaining about how hard they have it when they're doing a job I did for 3 years in highschool, and they have a husband at home. No, I may not be working right now, but I also don't have anyone to share any of the burden with. I think it would be a fun experiment for those complaining about how little their spouses do to be without them for a week. Just a week. No outside help of any kind. Then let's see if you still think they don't do anything. Let's add onto that, not being able to call your spouse when something unexpected goes wrong and you have to figure it out for yourself. Might change your perspective.
This got me thinking about my stay at home mom status and how much I really do wish to be working part time. Hey, if you think that makes me monster-mom, then that's your opinion and I know a place you can stick it. The truth is, kids and parents need time with people their own age. If you don't get it, you end up with a 3 year old who is telling you that she's in charge, and a mom who is saying things like "macky cheese" and "boo-boo" or "owie"....ugh.
Also, I am good at something. I have a skill and I don't want it to go to waste. I have a passion for something and I want my daughter to be proud of that. I want to raise a child who knows she can grow up and be anything she wants. If she wants to be a stay at home mom, well then that's ok too. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. I absolutely think if that's what you want to do, then that is wonderful. I have the utmost respect for people who can homeschool their kids and sew the patches on their husband's uniforms. I prefer the tailor and picking out a good school, but we're all different, aren't we? Just because my way is different than yours doesn't mean it's wrong, and vice versa.
One thing I have enjoyed is finding things on Pinterest to keep my boredom at bay. Trying at least one new recipe a week that the hubs might like has brought me some feeling of accomplishment. He jokes that the house is always spotless, so I can't use that for a "gold star" any more. Cooking and baking...now that's where it's at! I don't like to cook. I don't particularly enjoy baking. I am pretty good at both, but the effort and the mess, is it worth it? Yes, I am that woman who is so obsessed with clean, I hate seeing flour on my sparkling counters. I hate the way it floats through the air and lands on my shiny hard wood floor. I am trying to relax though, and of course always have the swiffer vac handy. Hey, I'm not super mom, and in my line of work, clean is necessary. You don't want to be loaded into an ambulance with someone else's blood splattered all over, do you? Didn't think so. Yes, flour is different than blood, but mess is mess. Ok, apples and oranges, don't judge!
Anyway. I have started compiling recipes. I have been hand writing them on pretty little recipe cards so hubs can look through them and pick out which ones he would like to try without scrolling through the few hundred ones I have pinned. I also have the world's pickiest eater in the form of a cute, button-nosed Tinkerbell-ish little girl. I have found a couple successful dishes that she will eat. This is a huge relief since I hate giving in to her chicken nugget or easy mac obsession. Before you ask, yes I have tried making home made versions of both, and no, she won't eat them. If someone could please tell me why the disgusting, processed versions taste so much better to unrefined little palettes, I would be grateful.
Last night I decided to try a new quinoa recipe. I love quinoa. I was hoping these cheesy little quinoa bites would be something Little Tink would eat. I was chopping and shredding the ingredients while cooking my quinoa, quite excited to taste this new creation. Everything was ready to mix together, all I needed were the eggs. I go to the refrigerator. Eggs. OH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOSHHHHH----- NOOOO! EGGGGGSSSS!!!! There was the egg carton. The day after Easter. Filled with pastel colored hard boiled eggs. *Slaps forehead* There is my bowl full of shredded carrots, cheese and other ingredients sitting beside my beautifully cooked quinoa. So I either scrap the whole project or run to the store for eggs. Or...yes, there has got to be something I can do with something I already have. So I reach for my most important kitchen tool. The iPhone. What would I do without it? I know, I know...there are people who live without them. I don't know how, but they do. Egg substitute....searching, searching. There it is! A teaspoon of flax meal with a quarter cup of water! I HAVE THAT! There are a few things I always have: flax meal, applesauce, greek yogurt, coconut milk...and yeah, before you get smart, eggs are usually among that list.
There I am, in my kitchen, feeling smug and proud that I was able to save my recipe without leaving the house. I finished mixing, put the stuff into the cute little muffin tins and popped them into the oven. I'm smiling at my oven like an idiot now. Suddenly I get this image in my head of the 18 year old version of me walking into my kitchen in her combat boots and BDU's, slapping the smile off my face saying "Wake up girl! Go get your hands into a bloody trauma because you, my friend are delusional!" I started laughing out loud. An accomplishment to that girl was getting a suicidal patient to go to the hospital with her instead of having the cops cuff them...or getting the cranky patient who hated everyone to laugh. Figuring out how to get a 90 year old patient who was wedged between the toilet and the bathtub out without compromising c-spine. And there I am standing in front of my quinoa muffin win. Oh the shame. Yeah, yeah, food and saving lives here we go with the apples and oranges again. My point is, I'm not anywhere near where I thought I would be. I never thought life would consist of being a single mom for a year at a time, cooking and baking my way through a deployment. I can't wait to get back on a rig and start using my brain again. I must say though...the cheesy quinoa bites- DELISH!!! Being a stay at home mom isn't the easiest job in the world. Being a working mom isn't either. I would never covet one for the other. You do what you have to do with your situation and take whatever you can to get some happiness in there somewhere.
Sure I am proud that I was able to learn and grow and keep things running on my own while dealing with medical issues and a needy preschooler. There were days I was so ready to give up, but I just kept pushing on. One thing was constant, those bad days ended and I got to start over the next morning.
I saw this post yesterday about being a stay at home mom. I try not to let things bother me, especially people's opinions or observations because, well...they really don't matter to me. When I see someone talking about how easy it is to be a stay at home mom however...that makes me want to explode. I especially get angry when I see someone complaining about how hard they have it when they're doing a job I did for 3 years in highschool, and they have a husband at home. No, I may not be working right now, but I also don't have anyone to share any of the burden with. I think it would be a fun experiment for those complaining about how little their spouses do to be without them for a week. Just a week. No outside help of any kind. Then let's see if you still think they don't do anything. Let's add onto that, not being able to call your spouse when something unexpected goes wrong and you have to figure it out for yourself. Might change your perspective.
This got me thinking about my stay at home mom status and how much I really do wish to be working part time. Hey, if you think that makes me monster-mom, then that's your opinion and I know a place you can stick it. The truth is, kids and parents need time with people their own age. If you don't get it, you end up with a 3 year old who is telling you that she's in charge, and a mom who is saying things like "macky cheese" and "boo-boo" or "owie"....ugh.
Also, I am good at something. I have a skill and I don't want it to go to waste. I have a passion for something and I want my daughter to be proud of that. I want to raise a child who knows she can grow up and be anything she wants. If she wants to be a stay at home mom, well then that's ok too. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. I absolutely think if that's what you want to do, then that is wonderful. I have the utmost respect for people who can homeschool their kids and sew the patches on their husband's uniforms. I prefer the tailor and picking out a good school, but we're all different, aren't we? Just because my way is different than yours doesn't mean it's wrong, and vice versa.
One thing I have enjoyed is finding things on Pinterest to keep my boredom at bay. Trying at least one new recipe a week that the hubs might like has brought me some feeling of accomplishment. He jokes that the house is always spotless, so I can't use that for a "gold star" any more. Cooking and baking...now that's where it's at! I don't like to cook. I don't particularly enjoy baking. I am pretty good at both, but the effort and the mess, is it worth it? Yes, I am that woman who is so obsessed with clean, I hate seeing flour on my sparkling counters. I hate the way it floats through the air and lands on my shiny hard wood floor. I am trying to relax though, and of course always have the swiffer vac handy. Hey, I'm not super mom, and in my line of work, clean is necessary. You don't want to be loaded into an ambulance with someone else's blood splattered all over, do you? Didn't think so. Yes, flour is different than blood, but mess is mess. Ok, apples and oranges, don't judge!
Anyway. I have started compiling recipes. I have been hand writing them on pretty little recipe cards so hubs can look through them and pick out which ones he would like to try without scrolling through the few hundred ones I have pinned. I also have the world's pickiest eater in the form of a cute, button-nosed Tinkerbell-ish little girl. I have found a couple successful dishes that she will eat. This is a huge relief since I hate giving in to her chicken nugget or easy mac obsession. Before you ask, yes I have tried making home made versions of both, and no, she won't eat them. If someone could please tell me why the disgusting, processed versions taste so much better to unrefined little palettes, I would be grateful.
Last night I decided to try a new quinoa recipe. I love quinoa. I was hoping these cheesy little quinoa bites would be something Little Tink would eat. I was chopping and shredding the ingredients while cooking my quinoa, quite excited to taste this new creation. Everything was ready to mix together, all I needed were the eggs. I go to the refrigerator. Eggs. OH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOSHHHHH----- NOOOO! EGGGGGSSSS!!!! There was the egg carton. The day after Easter. Filled with pastel colored hard boiled eggs. *Slaps forehead* There is my bowl full of shredded carrots, cheese and other ingredients sitting beside my beautifully cooked quinoa. So I either scrap the whole project or run to the store for eggs. Or...yes, there has got to be something I can do with something I already have. So I reach for my most important kitchen tool. The iPhone. What would I do without it? I know, I know...there are people who live without them. I don't know how, but they do. Egg substitute....searching, searching. There it is! A teaspoon of flax meal with a quarter cup of water! I HAVE THAT! There are a few things I always have: flax meal, applesauce, greek yogurt, coconut milk...and yeah, before you get smart, eggs are usually among that list.
There I am, in my kitchen, feeling smug and proud that I was able to save my recipe without leaving the house. I finished mixing, put the stuff into the cute little muffin tins and popped them into the oven. I'm smiling at my oven like an idiot now. Suddenly I get this image in my head of the 18 year old version of me walking into my kitchen in her combat boots and BDU's, slapping the smile off my face saying "Wake up girl! Go get your hands into a bloody trauma because you, my friend are delusional!" I started laughing out loud. An accomplishment to that girl was getting a suicidal patient to go to the hospital with her instead of having the cops cuff them...or getting the cranky patient who hated everyone to laugh. Figuring out how to get a 90 year old patient who was wedged between the toilet and the bathtub out without compromising c-spine. And there I am standing in front of my quinoa muffin win. Oh the shame. Yeah, yeah, food and saving lives here we go with the apples and oranges again. My point is, I'm not anywhere near where I thought I would be. I never thought life would consist of being a single mom for a year at a time, cooking and baking my way through a deployment. I can't wait to get back on a rig and start using my brain again. I must say though...the cheesy quinoa bites- DELISH!!! Being a stay at home mom isn't the easiest job in the world. Being a working mom isn't either. I would never covet one for the other. You do what you have to do with your situation and take whatever you can to get some happiness in there somewhere.
Isn't it funny how our lives turned out so differently than what we imagined they would? And, it ends up being even more wonderful than we could have dreamed, even with all the mess we have to wade through to get to where we know we are meant to be? Love you!
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