I don't intend for this post to be condescending or mean. I don't believe everyone takes things for granted. I know I certainly did. It took a year of being by myself with a toddler, trying to maintain a house, a yard, 2 vehicles, a dog and myself to realize that maybe, just maybe he did more than I thought. Because right now what I'm thinking about isn't that his clothes are going to be all over the floor again, that his PT gear will be sitting in his gym bag, stinking up my entry-way until I wash them, that there will be muddy boot prints unless I ask him to leave them at the door, or that I will have to clean up after a guy in the bathroom again...you know, all the stuff a wife would nag about.
What I am thinking about is that I will no longer have to be the only person putting our daughter to bed. I will have someone else to talk to at the end of the day, besides a cute chocolate lab. I'm thinking about waking up to he and Little Tink playing quietly in the living room on the weekend so I can get an extra hour of sleep. Having him walk back in the door after he's already left for work because he stopped to buy me a Vanilla chai. Having him come home for lunch to spend time with us even if it means he has to eat on the drive back. Having him drive me home after I have a procedure done, instead of waiting an hour after so I can drive myself home. Cuddling up to him with a good book while he plays the "idot box" as my sister in law so affectionately and accurately named it...that's the PS3 if you couldn't figure it out. Not being the only person that has to drive. That is a huge one. When he was home on R&R, I would just automatically go for the driver's seat...but he sweetly said "I'll drive if you want". Not having to be the only person with responsibility just seems like such a relief. Sure, I'll still mow the yard because he blows up with hives at the very sight of trimmed grass, but he will take the vehicles to get serviced so I don't have to sit with a squirmy toddler and wait for them. I'll have dinner on the table when he's home from work and do the dishes so he can spend time with his daughter, but he'll cook for me all weekend long and maybe surprise me with a night out during the week. I'll gag at opening that gym bag, but he'll hold my hand while they take a pint of blood with a needle the size of a straw.
I may nag and complain about cleaning up after him. I may accuse him of being a 3rd child (I consider the dog one), and say things like "I'm NOT your mother" when he asks me why he doesn't have any clean socks. I may lament the fact that I am not doing what I am passionate about right now, and curse every dirty dish that is put into an empty sink, but I realize now what I want more than anything is just to have him here. I don't care about the laundry or the dishes or the dust on the tv. I care about having my best friend beside me when I start my day and when it ends. I long for conversations that aren't ended by a bad internet connection or a blast from a mortar. I just want the simple things back. After seeing what I can do on my own, I know I'm capable of many things and taking care of myself and my child, but that's not the way I want it. Life is a lot more fun when you have someone to share it with.
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